The Projected Outcome

Okay, i guess I must not be into blogging that much, seeing as how I haven't done it in a few months. But I've finally come up with something I can stick to (maybe). Since I'm away at school so much, I've decided to take advantage of that, and I'm going to make posts about what funny things happen there weekly. But not just any posts. This is going to be a very small newspaper called The Projected Outcome, which is going to greatly exaggerate (and possibly bias) the things that happen at my school ZITS. This will probably make things more funny, if that's possible. And if I ever end up getting a digital camera, I can include pictures with captions to go along with the story, just like a real newspaper!!! Who knows? Maybe I'll start selling it.
But I'm getting a little bit carried away. I've even decided to include the first issue in this post!(Just to show I'm putting in some effort to not procrastenate.) So here it is...


The Projected Outcome

"HANUKKA BUSH" ENRAGES STAFF
Hanhala postpones long awaited food, senate reacts.

In a suprising move today Rosh Yeshiva Rabbi "C" (can't list names-sorry) ordered all students out of the dining room at 8:26 AM that morning, after reacting to a "Hannuka Bush" which had been placed there the night before. The bush was covered in lights, and there were many other lights spread out throughout the room. When no one came forward claiming responebility for the bush, breakfast was postpone until later that morning.
An enraged Student Senate meeting was called after the kick out. Chairman Joiseph "G" called the kick out "unfair to the students". Freshman Senetar Foust claimed that the kick was well justified, and the chairman then demanded that the one responsible come forward. When still no movement was made, Joiseph called the senate, "an embarresmant."
Ultimatley, Rabbi C found the culprit, and the Senate has sentenced him to twenty hours of "Chuck". The Projected Outcome will not care to specify this punishment.