The wrong impression?

I had two strange things happen to me today which made me feel like I'd flashed back to the old WHEATS days. Oh, that's what my chavrusa calls my old school. Bear with me.
So I came back from one of my classes today to find that my door was wide open and my light was on. I thought that was pretty weird. I mean, I guess I can be pretty absent minded sometimes, but come on. That's just weird. But nothing was missing, I'd had my laptop with me, so I figured I'd just left it like that by accident, in a rush to get to class. Although my initial thought was like, what's going on? Are they searching my room?
I later found a security guard opening random rooms on my floor, and I guess he thought I was looking at him weird or something, so as I was opening my room up, he told me that they'd opened my room up earlier because they thought there was a leak inside, but it turned out it was in the room next door. I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse.
But anyways, later on I was trying to get back into my building, and found, as I often do later at night, that the door was locked. So I asked the guard in the booth if he could open the door. I was kind of out of breath as we had this little conversation, as I had just run from my sister's apartment to get my backpack from my room so I could get to a test I was probably already late for. This is how this conversation went:
ME: Can you open this door up please?

GUARD: How can I help you?

ME:...can you open this door up?

GUARD: (faint smile) No, the door is closed.

ME: Yeah, I know. Can you open it?

GUARD: No, no, it's locked.

ME: I know, that's why I can't get in. Can you open the door?

GUARD: It's closed right now.

ME: (suddenly understanding) Oh...wait what? This is the DORM building?

GUARD: Yes, the dorm is closed.

ME:...ok!

So I basically just had to run around to the main entrance and go all the way around the building. Of course, that entrance was wide open, and once I got to my floor I could find no reason why the place would be closed off. This whole thing basically cost me ten minutes of an extremely long test, but thankfully I still finished with plenty of time to spare. Although I have to admit that when I first realized that this guard was telling me the dorm was closed, my immediate reaction was like, "Why? Are they searching the dorms?"
Now I wish I could say that I've never actually had my room searched before, but unfortunately as of last year I can no longer claim that, which was when four rabbeim kicked me out of my own room and searched through my closet.
For those of you who may be surprised at my hesitation to go back to a full-time learning environment, this may shed some light on my point of view. This was actually something I thought about a few weeks ago, when I was reading the Yated at my uncle's house, and I read an article about whether or not it's right for a rebbe to hit his students. This caused me to drift back and remember fondly my experiences with, caring, sincere, patient rabbeim in the fourth, fifth, sixth, and eight grades. (end sarcasm)
I believe each one of these rabbeim brought me to tears on multiple occasions. And you know, it wasn't fun. And now I'm not saying I didn't deserve it all the time, but many times, even as I look back on it now, I did not approve of their methods. A few of them apologized to me afterwards, and I hold for them a bit of respect for doing that. But nonetheless, there's no doubt in my mind that these people are the reasons why I am so quiet today. It seems that I learned early on when to keep my mouth shut. And it's true, I remember many gemara classes where I would sit in my desk, trying very hard to not break down, and concentrating on how I was not going to say anything in this class ever again. I should just keep my mouth shut next time. Well, it seems I've learned.
 This was how I operated all throughout high school; I answered my questions myself, and never raised my hand unless there was really something I didn't know. Maybe that's a good thing? Is it a virtue not to say anything if you have nothing to say? It sure doesn't seem like it. Everywhere I go, everything I do, people ask me why I don't say anything? Am I afraid I'm going to be shot down and humiliated if I speak my mind? Or is this just the way I am now, with this mentality of being very careful with what I say, to the point where I don't even realize I have something to say unless it's something important?

Woah, I'm sorry, this was supposed to be a funny blog. But I've been thinking about this for a little while, and I guess I wanted to get it out there. It actually surprises me now that I never spoke with any of my high school rabbeim about this. Maybe I never figured it out until now. But I can tell you that with all of Dr. Stone's bellowing and stomping, he couldn't hold a candle to how much damage these people have done to me. Like I said before, maybe it's for the better. Maybe it's good that I know how to balance my words carefully. Goodness knows it got me through algebra, geometry, and chemistry in one piece. But take it from me- these rabbeim did not need to hit me. They did their job just fine with their words.