Hit the ground running...into a volcano

Coming back from these long vacations, I always kind of feel like a plane landing. After spending so much free time up in the air, relaxing, the hard thump of the wheels hitting the ground wakes me up and reminds me of where I am and where I'm going. The plane has touched the ground, but is still going nearly as fast as it was in the air. Over time it slows down, until finally it reaches the gate, and I suppose my vacation metaphorically dies at that point.


What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Pesach. Well, this Pesach was without a doubt the best Pesach I've ever had in my life. I've become more aware in recent months that you appreciate something more and more the less you have it. Now I have not exactly been separated from my family for a tear-jerking amount of time (as my mom put it, my limit so far has been six weeks), but by my standards, it feels like years. So when I finally come home, and all of my brothers and sisters are there, it's just such an amazing time for me. People say there's nothing to do in Milwaukee- but I don't really need anything. As long as those guys are around, I'm having a good time. My brother happens to be going away to the Israeli army soon, and I probably won't get another good look at him for the next fourteen months, so we spent plenty of quality time together (although most of it was in shul, I guess). One regret I have from this break is that I spent so much of it working. Well okay I guess that's not true, I spent maybe three or four mornings doing my superhero work downtown as a mashgiach. I'm not totally sure why I took up the requests- I guess it's because usually they don't ask me, and this time apparantly they really needed me, and I have a hard time turning down money. There were one or two days where I turned them down, and I'm really glad I did, because that meant more time I got to spend with my family.
But now I come back to New York and am once again faced with the realization that things like this don't last forever. Even when I do come back for summer break, it won't be the same as it was over this vacation, since my sister will still be working in New York, and my brother will still be in the army in Israel. Sometimes I just can't believe I'm thinking about going to Israel next year. I mean, it's true a lot of my friends will be there, but I have a rough enough time dealing with going to New York, I can't imagine what things would be like for me if I were to leave for six months at a time. I tell myself having friends there will make things better, but that's far from a guarantee. And I guess I need to go to Queens this weekend to check Landers out.
I guess in theory I shouldn't have time to be thinking about this (or writing it) since I have like two tests and a paper due in the same week I come back. But I really just can't bring myself to study economics right now. Maybe in ten minutes.
The truth is I don't have very much school left. I go home in another six and a half weeks, and I only have classes for about half of that. Finals shouldn't be too terrible, but I need to actually get back on top of things. It could just be because I came back with a lot of things I had to do outside of school, which hopefully by the end of today are all taken care of. I had to mail back the car keys I accidentally left in my pocket, wheel two gigantic, 50 pound boxes over to my sister's apartment, close a checking account (haven't done that yet), cash a check...I think there are more.
One problem is that it's hard for me to focus on my schoolwork, and think about if I want to stay here for next year at the same time. If I wait on that decision until the schoolwork is over, it'll likely be too late (dorm registrations are due April 21st...so I guess I need to know by then).
It's just that I've come back from the most amazing vacation ever, and I find myself back in the middle of all of these things. It's so hard for me to re-orient myself. I didn't know what I was going to do with all this stuff three weeks ago, and I haven't made much progress since. I guess I've had kind of a hard landing, not unlike the entire Polish government. Except I think I'm really just half off the runway, not half a mile away from it. If I can just steer myself in the right direction, I shouldn't have much of a problem dealing with these last six weeks. Then I can start looking for a summer job two months too late. Ugh.

Oop, it's been at least ten minutes. I should really study some economics now. With any luck, I'll at least feel like I did well tomorrow, and I can focus on my other tests.

Aaah, I've heard it both ways...